My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
