looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
