then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Your cock deserves a montage
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
