You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize