I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
