I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
