so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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