Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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