Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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