things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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