Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
