You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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