i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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