I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
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All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize