Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
