Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need to sanitize my soul.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
