Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize