handjob tips. give me some.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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