i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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