fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize