Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
