don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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