just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
