just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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