Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
