this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
