Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
