I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Bring me that man meat
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
