fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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