God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
