I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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