It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
