i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
