His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is classic penis vs brain.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
