This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
