Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
