happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
