one might say we're banned from that church
false alarm. still invincible.
love makes seman taste better
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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