First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
