he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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