Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize