its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
