I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
