There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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