My liver just broke up with me...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A+ Viking dick
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
