She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
