We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
