He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize