and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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