Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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