I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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