there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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