i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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