just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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