walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
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Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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