woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
