She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
