sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My vagina is officially offended.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
