real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
