He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
